For better or for worse, I am committed to loving him, no matter how much we may misunderstand and annoy each other and ask "WHAT WAS I THINKING!?! How did WE end up together!?" And by love, I don't just mean staying married out of obligation. I mean an unconditional LOVE that replaces discontentment with peace. Even during our worst arguments, joy exists because I know we are committed to each other and that love is bigger than this obstacle.
I'm not committed for commitment's sake alone. My promise wasn't to simply tolerate this man, no, I promised to become ONE with this fellow child of God. Trusting him as my lifelong teammate, I can say: no matter the consequences, I AM WITH YOU, your joys are my joys and your sorrows are my sorrows.
Of course there are a zillion things I find undeniably amazing about him; my breath catches in awe when I even begin to ponder the immense blessing I have in this man as my partner for life. And of course there are a zillion things I find undeniably annoying about him, too. But neither the positive nor the subjectively negative give me permission to love or not love him. It's BECAUSE I promised to love him wholeheartedly and unconditionally that I've been able to experience just what a beautiful person he truly is, not the other way around. My love keeps growing exponentially, not because of anything in particular I like about him, but because I choose to constantly renew my commitment to him.
I didn't know anything of this love when we got married - I knew we were best friends in the whole wide world, we both drew and sang and played piano, loved The Beatles, were Star Wars and Zelda geeks, and had made individual commitments to Christ. We enjoyed the challenge of each other's completely different perspectives, didn't buy into the idea of putting each other on pedestals of soulmatehood, and decided we were pretty ideal candidates to partner up for life. But it wasn't until we got married, until we made that commitment, that true agape love began and I really began to understand what loving Andy Gaskin meant.
Why do YOU love YOUR spouse? Laying aside all romantic ideals, physical attributes, financial provisions and independent streaks, why have you committed the rest of your earthly existence to this other fallible human? It's not because you're co-dependent, or because you're soulmates, or because they complete you. It's not even an easy choice, so for you, what does it all come down to?
